I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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