You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
