i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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