it hurts more in the daytime
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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