wat bout pragnant strippers??
kristin has been a bad kristin
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
