Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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