We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
