I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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