hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize