Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
