so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
