woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There r osticjed everywhere
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
