wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
