Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
