Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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