This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
