I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
