She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize