walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
