I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
