I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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