I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
