woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we made out on top of his cat.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
