just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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