If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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