HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
