he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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