Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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