I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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