Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
