R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
