I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
