So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
