Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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