i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
