If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
