i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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