guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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