I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
