im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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