i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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