I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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