I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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