I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize