no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
