Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
