My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
