Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
