I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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