Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
