we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
