I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its not stalking. its research.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
