Im at strip club and am horny
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
