This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
