Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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