They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
