you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
